Lulu Remembers the Legacy of Her Fairy Godfathers Lost To AIDS
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Recognizing that she was much too young to “really understand the implications of all of this,” what she did know was, “that I felt so grown up and cherished in their presence. I knew there was something special about these men; to me they were worldly and fancy and sparkly and they knew a little something about everything. And most importantly, they taught me what they knew.”
Described as men of great style, class, elegance, intellect, wit, charm, creativity, beauty and fun. “They were incredibly cultured and had exquisite taste.
“To my child’s eye, mind and heart” she poignantly recalls, “these men were magical. They were my playmates; the most delightful big brothers to a shy, often sad & lonely little girl. They were fun and silly and played dress up and always let me be Cher to their Sonny.”
“They told me I was a glittering gem and that I was fabulous and they meant it in a real way, not a ‘hey girl hey’ way, tho we had those moments too.”
They didn’t patronize or pander to me.
They expected me to keep up my end of the conversation, regardless of the topic or my lack of knowledge about it.
Local politics or Best Dressed at the Oscars; my opinion mattered to them. They didn’t baby me. They treated me like an equal. But that didn’t mean that they didn’t spoil and coddle me. They made me feel special and valued and respected. Perhaps because society didn’t offer them the same respect as gay men, they felt compelled to make sure I was always treated as a whole person.
For a young girl of color, this went far in developing my sense of self and worth and pride in being who I was.
Worried, for an instant, that her description might offend some because of “the seemingly stereotypical depiction of gay men,” she writes, “these were the men I knew, as I knew them, when I knew them. This was who they were, at a time when the gay community in SF was thriving and carefree; when the pulse of the disco beat of the day seemed to ring in sync with the beat of the cultural awakening that was taking the world by gloriously gay rainbow storm on the streets of SF.”
Ultimately she recognizes that she’s a better human being because of these men, “THIS, I know for sure. My fairy god-fathers may be gone, but their rainbow colored fairy dust flows in my veins forever. They had their Pride. And they gave me mine, too. xo Lulu”